Year of the Dog

It's been a while, and there are things to say and talk about, but mostly the year of men has been on my mind. I'm trying dating again, and it's uncomfortable. I spent most of my dating life in serial monogomy, dating friends, or friends of friends, where often there was so much a first date as a transition period, moving from hanging out to interested to lovers over time. It was good and comfortable. But now, it's different, harder. I spent almost a year terrified and devistated after Daniel, then when finally I ventured in, I immediately got rebuffed by someone I was pretty into. And then, I started dating.

David was the first. He's a LA Times "best book" author, funny, articulate, obsessed with movies. He also had this annoying habit of calling me at work to talk dirty to me. Once, it's funny. Every day, it's a sign that he needs to up his meds. I still talk to him every now and then, but I know when he starts to whisper my name, I need to go.

Michael was next. Big burly Scot, creative, well-read and well-traveled. To him, I was his girlfriend after our second date. He also seemed much more impressed with his nakedness than I was. Sorry Michael.

Doug - couple of calls, one sad brunch. This was right when my back started up. It was an awkward, uncomfortable conversation, and not enough there.

Allen - yawn. Oh, and two marriages. I think I understand.

Another Michael - he's the one who called me in the middle of the night to meet him, then when we did finally meet, spent most of the time either on the phone or pontificating about himself. Bad dresser, and a self-described cheapskate. He wanted me to come all the way down to the village to meet him for 15 minutes at midnight on a Sunday night, since he was going to a movie before hand. You're kidding, right?

Danny, sweet, from NJ. Talked for hours on the phone, funny, entertaining, smart, then finally agreed to meet. Holy Christ. His pictures were old. He had gained a lot of weight, And let his hair grow. And was a really bad dresser. Shallow I know. But it is what it is. I was relieved when he told me that he was dating someone else.

Bailey. Again, sweet, but talk about something other than food man! Then again, I think I'd get some incredible meals with that one.

Jim from Chicago. It's a good thing he doesn't live closer. He'd be dangerously close to someone I'd date. Funny as hell, wicked smart, and pretty hot. He travels as much as I do. Think he's a playa too. But he's still fun, and I've had some fabulous, hysterical meals with him.

Jay and Jake, a few dates, some phone conversations, and then they drifted away. Jake, I regret. He could have been interesting.

And then there's Greg. Sweet, funny, lovable Greg. Nothing about him was right, but I adored him anyway. We must have talked 100 hours on the phone last year, some great dates. That day he drove the 45 minutes to kiss me for half an hour, then drove back. He's going through radiation now, and I'd do anything to keep him from feeling as crappy as he is.

Cripes.